Opening Up

One of my favorite rappers is J.Cole. I have loved him since his mixtape days and his way with words just touches my soul. He also seems so real and authentic– I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s his hustle or his commitment to stay true to himself. He has had my heart since Friday Night Lights and he still does. He recently featured on a 6LACK song called “Pretty Little Fears”. The first part of his verse just touches my soul.

“I’m lovin’ your light, vulnerable
Lettin’ your guard down, it’s honorable
‘Specially when the past ain’t been that
Friendly to you but there’s magic in that”

The whole song is magical but, these lines just touch my soul. I think it is because I have always been scared of opening up to people. Instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve, I think I wear my toughness on my sleeve. I don’t let people in and I think I am almost proud of the fact on how long it takes me to open up to people. From now on, I really want to commit to opening up and being more vulnerable. I want to be more open to having fun, talking to random people, and being more easy with life. I don’t think it’s an honor to be closed off to the world or it’s some type of a bragging right. I think it shows weakness and fear. I don’t want to be weak or fearful. I want to jump. I want to be more open and forthcoming. I want to be seen although, even typing that makes me cringe. I tend to hide or be to myself as much as possible. I keep to my guard high up. Even when I am walking down the street, I cover myself under a jacket or something – a hideout from the world.

This year, I really want to be more open and vulnerable. I want to let people in and be more comfortable with living my life. Be more authentic and more free.

Here is to flying.

Alma.

 

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