May 4th: Do the Difficult Things

How many of us have felt anxiety on a Monday morning? The creeping sense of dread amplified by procrastination and work we put off last week is debilitating and paralyzing. I have found myself in this position countless times in my life. I procrastinate on things that may take me 10 minutes to complete and find myself filled with dread for hours and sometimes days over that 10 minutes of work. Currently, I have been procrastinating on studying for a certificate at work. I put it off for so long that even thinking about it paralyzes me and fills me with dread. This dread will continue to consume me until I take action. Yesterday, I chose to take action. I put aside my emotions and started studying. 10 minutes passed which turned to 30 minutes and turned to 2 hours. The monster of work that was in front of me now felt manageable. 

Sometimes, what relieves anxiety and dread is to take the first step and do the work. Once we get past our emotions of fear, anxiousness, worry, and regret – we can start working. Once we begin, the anxiety minimizes and the dread disappears. Only through action is this possible. 

Override your emotions of dread and take the first step towards a project today! Do the work no matter how fearful or anxious you are. 

Opening Up

One of my favorite rappers is J.Cole. I have loved him since his mixtape days and his way with words just touches my soul. He also seems so real and authentic– I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s his hustle or his commitment to stay true to himself. He has had my heart since Friday Night Lights and he still does. He recently featured on a 6LACK song called “Pretty Little Fears”. The first part of his verse just touches my soul.

“I’m lovin’ your light, vulnerable
Lettin’ your guard down, it’s honorable
‘Specially when the past ain’t been that
Friendly to you but there’s magic in that”

The whole song is magical but, these lines just touch my soul. I think it is because I have always been scared of opening up to people. Instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve, I think I wear my toughness on my sleeve. I don’t let people in and I think I am almost proud of the fact on how long it takes me to open up to people. From now on, I really want to commit to opening up and being more vulnerable. I want to be more open to having fun, talking to random people, and being more easy with life. I don’t think it’s an honor to be closed off to the world or it’s some type of a bragging right. I think it shows weakness and fear. I don’t want to be weak or fearful. I want to jump. I want to be more open and forthcoming. I want to be seen although, even typing that makes me cringe. I tend to hide or be to myself as much as possible. I keep to my guard high up. Even when I am walking down the street, I cover myself under a jacket or something – a hideout from the world.

This year, I really want to be more open and vulnerable. I want to let people in and be more comfortable with living my life. Be more authentic and more free.

Here is to flying.

Alma.