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May 9th: Sleepwalking Through Life

There is a great YouTuber who makes songs for each Enneagram types. I am a type 9. If you don’t know much about Enneagrams, you can take a quiz here: There is a great line in the song about 9’s that says “I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen”. This line always gets to me because that is exactly how I feel. I am 27 now and I feel like most of my life has been me sleepwalking through it. My memories are foggy and unclear. I cannot remember a time I had clarity with a situation or pursued a goal because it was truly my own desire or idea. 9’s tend to please others and I feel like I lived up to the world’s idea of who I should be. I am slowly starting to get in touch with who I am. It feels like I am finally melting through a frozen box around my heart that I installed myself.

Maybe one day I will get to know who I am and what I desire truly. But, for now, I am letting myself make small decisions that help me get there. How do I start sleepwalking through life? The first step, to me, seems to be by figuring out what I want.

What do I desire in my life? What goals do I have that I want to reach? How can I use intention and action to get there? I don’t have the answers to these questions but, I will keep asking them to remind myself of who or what I want to become.

Take time today to ask yourself what YOU want.