Happiness is a topic that everyone has tried to tackle in history. Jesus Christ, Buddha, Seneca, Aristotle and every remarkable person has attempted to find the key to happiness. I am not a philosopher or related to the Lord so, I don’t have an actual key or an answer that leads to happiness.
One thing I know is that we can control what we do to increase joy. What actions brings you happiness? For me, I get joy from nature (put me by a lake or an ocean and I am a happy woman), writing in my journal and reflecting, praying, and making progress on my goals. When I set time aside to do these things, I am more joyful. I notice that I am more available to others. I feel a sense of purpose. When I haven’t done these things, I am more selfish with my time and more resentful.
Write down a list of things that bring you happiness. Try to eliminate anything that brings instant gratification (i.e. social media, television, YouTube etc) and include things where you are in full control (i.e. going for a walk, writing, journaling etc). Try to do these things every single day and see if you feel better.
Take control of your happiness. Take small actions everyday to increase your joy and purpose.
I am not the type of person that is surrounded by friends. I am a self-proclaimed introvert. I like my own space and I live according to my own means and often in my own world. I have no problem spending time alone. But, I am also a human being. Human beings thrive in friendships, social circles, and a community. Although, my nature is to be an introvert – as human beings we’re naturally designed to seek social support. This means that no matter how comfortable we’re on our own, our brains can actually benefit from friendships! Friendships and kinship brings us joy, comfort, and even good health. It also gives us the opportunity to care for, listen to, and spend time with others.
Take a solitary activity that you like to do, like drinking coffee, and ask a friend to join you tomorrow (even virtually through Zoom). The conversation and togetherness is guaranteed to bring you joy. If you don’t currently have a friend (trust me, I have been there many times) – try a sibling, parent, or even a pet. Anyone will do!
Take time to enjoy those around you.
Do you ever randomly get happy?
I went to the gym after work yesterday and a shameless target run. While I was done with my work-out, I could see a flurry of snow through the street light outside of my gym. Then on my drive, I listened to all the ratchet music that I could possibly listen to (don’t judge) and I just stayed in the parking lot admiring the snow. I could see the streetlight reflecting the flecks of snow on my dashboard and I felt happy.
Do you ever get scared that happiness is fleeting?
Right when I was happy for no reason, I also got scared that it might be a delusion. Was I just being oblivious to my problems and pretending to be happy? Would I lose this feeling and mourn it forever? I wanted to hold on to the feeling and didn’t want to forget it. I don’t think happiness is an illusion. Even if it comes from utter insanity, delusion or some sort of an accident – I think we should savor these moments of happiness.
I am so grateful that I got to feel that yesterday. I still have that lingering feeling today and I hope to hold on to it as long as it stays with me and I am ready to let go of it when it wants to leave.